How to Deal with Jealous People

Many people find it cute when their boyfriend or girlfriend feels jealous of their friends. It reflects that they do not want to share you with anyone slightly. While it may seem romantic, everything in excess is wrong.

Jealousy is a complicated emotion, and being surrounded by jealous people can be quite uncomfortable. While it may not seem harmful, it can stress you out.

Humans tend to exhibit emotions on a wide spectrum. Happiness, sadness, fear, and anger are the primary expressions of how we feel. Yet, others, like jealousy, disappointment, etc., also exist. People do not usually exhibit these emotions directly, yet you can point them around you.

For example, your friend often looks at your expensive shopping and repeatedly talks about those things. Or that colleague who knows you are going on a vacation and informs your boss before you do. Jealousy might not initially feel harmful. Yet, it can cause damage. It is important to find people who are jealous of you and tackle them accordingly.

Before we tell you how to deal with the jealousy of others, let’s talk about jealousy in depth.

What is Jealousy?

Psychology Today defines jealousy as “Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from suspicion to rage to fear to humiliation. It strikes people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined.”

In simple words, jealousy means feeling unhappy when someone has something you cannot have.

Jealousy is often confused with envy. However, they are not the same. An envious person may long for what you have. Alternatively, a jealous person does not only crave what you have. They also do not feel happy that you have it.

Signs and Symptoms of Jealousy

You can easily point out jealousy in a relationship based on how a particular person behaves. It includes their behavior with you and people related to you. A jealous person may exhibit behavioral changes and physical signs as well.

Behavioral Characteristics

• Finding fault
• Criticizing
• Being obsessed
• Quick temper
• Blaming
• Being overprotective
• Emotional abuse

Physical Complications

• Headache
• Stomachache
• High blood pressure
• Insomnia
• Poor appetite
• Weight changes
• High blood pressure
• Weak immunity

How to Deal with Jealous People

Dealing with jealous people is not as difficult as it looks. They just need validation and want to feel happy for themselves. No doubt, staying happy is good for oneself, and you should find ways to stay positive and happy. But, it shouldn’t be after annoying or taking over someone. Here are a few effective tips to help you deal with jealous people.

Understand their Feelings

The first step to dealing with jealous people is understanding that jealousy is a human emotion like many others. It is not a trait or characteristic of anyone’s personality. Some people feel continuously jealous of other people’s relationships or success. But, most people feel it for a short period and get over it eventually.

Jealousy arises from insecurity which may have underlying reasons. Usually, people feel jealous when they have been trying to get the same things as you. Understanding the feeling of jealous people around you will make it easy not to let it affect you.

Talk about them

Your friends or colleagues might also be jealous of you when you are the star of any event. Some people have a charming personality that acts as a magnet to attract everyone to them. So, it is quite natural for people around them to feel ignored. The best way is to talk to them about their accomplishments. It will help them get out of their insecurities. Talk less about how good you are doing in your life to avoid making them feel unaccomplished. 

Be Kind to them

As we mentioned earlier, jealous people might not always have bad intentions. They could be stuck in their professional and personal life, and seeing them prosper makes them feel even worse about themselves. The first step is to deal with them with kindness. Offer a better job if you can suggest one or give them your time when needed. You may also give them a little something they had been looking forward to. It will also create a soft corner for you in their heart.

Address the Issue

Besides being kind and understanding of their issues, it is critical to address them. When you do not talk to people who feel jealous of others, it can worsen the situation. Talk to them calmly and tell them you do not want to fight. Talk to them in a casual setting and ask what’s bothering or how you can help them. Mention that you would want an affiliative relationship with them, and that you feel bad if you have hurt them. They might open up to you, and you both better understand each other’s perspectives.

Choose your Battles

Dealing with jealousy, envy, or disappointment at work can be quite difficult. Every conversation requires energy but not each of them is worth it. If you have tried your best to deal with the Jealousy of others, do not waste more time on it. It is good to move on and not spend your energy fighting with a person who does not want to change.

Do Not Gossip about them

You may find out someone is jealous of you, and the sudden urge to tell someone arises; what will you do?

No. Stop right there. Do not run to your teammate to tell them how ABC is jealous of you. They will get to know you eventually and leave a bad impression on you. Deal with them in your way without giving other people the opportunity to talk about your life.

Smile at the Haters

Sometimes we try everything on our end to make people around us feel good. Yet, it does not pay off.

In such situations, it is best to ignore and move away with a smile. Do not let their jealousy or passive-aggressiveness get to you. As Taylor Swift says, “Haters gonna hate hate hate!” So let them be, and go on with your life peacefully. In fact, you can further help them get rid of their passive-aggressiveness.

The Bottom Line

Short-lived jealousy is not harmful, yet you must address the issue in time. It is essential to deal with jealous people to make sure it does not affect your or their life significantly. Try to understand the underlying cause and talk to them about it. Mention their accomplishments and appreciate how far they have come in life. Killing their insecurities will help them fight their jealousy. Most importantly, do not pay heed when they do not want to talk about it. Let them hate you and keep moving on with your life.